Everyone in the online space is telling you that THEY have the one thing that you need to be successful and I am here to tell you that YOU are the only thing that you need.
When we look to outside things like shiny strategies rather than looking inside, we take ourselves further away from ourselves and our mission to serve and lead our clients to the destination we know is possible.
So rather than chasing the latest marketing fad because THEN you’ll be successful, trust that the key ingredient to rising up is already a part of who you are right NOW.
You are the secret sauce.
You’ve just forgotten that.
In this article, you’ll be reminded how to reclaim your power.
I’m revealing 3 attachment tendencies and how to remove them so those marketing methods can no longer have the power to play into your fears.
Then you can use whatever programs or techniques your heart desires because it will excite you instead of exhausting you.
You’ll feel empowered because instead of thinking it’s going to fix you or solve you, you will know that you are whole, worthy, and wonderful with or without it!
The 3 Achievement Attachments That Drive Your Decisions
We all have this desire to achieve, right?
We all have this desire to be better than we were yesterday, to win, and to succeed by moving our lives forward- whether it’s financially, in our relationships, or in whatever area.
We have this desire to evolve.
That’s the gift and the curse of humanity.
So we get attached to certain things that fuel WHY we want to achieve- these are attachment achievements.
For example, we’re attached to achieving someone’s love based on our success. We’re attached to achieving society’s approval based on how well we perform. We’re attached to achieving feeling like we’re good enough based on how many goals we checked off.
And what I want to do for you is to have you wrap your arms around attaching a new perspective to achieving.
If you can switch the paradigm to YOU fueling your desire versus external reasons, factors, or other people fueling your desire, you’ll come from a place of completeness versus trying to just get something.
Keep reading to take back the reins to your success. You’ll learn how to stop letting these 3 achievement attachments drive your decisions.
1. The Attachment to Love, Belonging, & Pleasing Others
What we tend to do- especially as high performing successful entrepreneurs- is to please people.
We want to be liked, whether it’s with our clients or team and that can drive why we’re achieving. It can drive what we do and the decisions that we make daily.
And that can create a lot of chaos.
Notice where you might be in achieving mode or doing things in your business because of a deeper desire for love or belonging, or to be liked or accepted.
You must love and belong to yourself first.
The way to arrive there is to see the truth. It can sometimes be painful to see the truth but when you shine a light on anything, it no longer can run you.
And the truth is that we are conditioned not to love or belong to ourselves.
We are conditioned to believe that the external world is how we achieve those feelings and that is where the attachment is created.
However, if we do things from an internal state, there is no attachment because we are whole and complete. We’re coming from a place of, “I’m showing up in my truth and in my authenticity and therefore you get to show up in your truth and your authenticity.”
There is no attachment because you are not trying to belong. There is no attachment because you’re moving through the world belonging already.
But again, first you have to see the truth that you don’t feel like you love yourself or you don’t feel like you belong and so you join that mastermind or networking group.
And I want to be clear here. I absolutely am in support of doing those things.
But, do those things not to get something- to get belonging or to get love.
Do those things from your wholeness within.
2. The Attachment to Focusing on What’s Wrong
When we are in a fight or flight bodily response, it’s caused by a valid circumstance.
There’s actually a reason, like a Saber tooth tiger is chasing you.
That’s different than what I’m talking about right now.
What I’m talking about is a constant, ongoing fixation- an attachment- to focusing on what could go wrong.
Because if you can focus on what’s wrong, and you’re the first one to focus on what’s wrong, you can prevent pain and suffering.
But the problem is, you’re using that inappropriately and you’re using it all the time.
You’re using it when things are going amazing. Even when you’re achieving your goals, or things are going your way and moving along at the speed you want them to, there’s still a part of of yourself focusing on what’s wrong. You ask yourself, “When is the shoe going to drop,” or “When is the bad thing going to happen?” This is so you can prepare yourself so that if or when that shoe drops, you’re not disappointed.
Focusing on what’s wrong can be a really dangerous attachment, because we’re completely unconscious to it. Because of our conditioning, we have learned how to deal with it- it’s just a part of our brain. It’s just a part of our nervous system.
The truth is that fear is running you even when you’re not running from a wild animal.
And while this is an understandable response due to our conditioning and innate survival instincts, allowing fear – even at its subtlest level -to drive your decisions will hinder growth rather than propel you forward like faith in yourself will.
Realizing when fear has taken over will allow you the opportunity to step back into you and reconnect with your power so that you can choose to move ahead courageously instead.
3. The Attachment to Not Feeling Like Enough
Craving more than what we have can often feel like a never-ending cycle. Women leaders in particular are highly susceptible to this, finding themselves in the quicksand of feeling “not enough”.
It’s something that I know I really struggled with for a long long time until I could come to the place of seeing what was going on behind the scenes.
This attachment to striving to prove your worth can lead you down a destructive path.
When you constantly feel like you’re not enough or there’s something to prove or there’s something to figure out, you tend to make a lot of knee jerk decisions, do things that aren’t necessarily well thought out or do things to get something in return.
Acknowledging the truth of feeling inadequate is a courageous first step to unlocking your inner strength.
To break through the wall of self-doubt, recognize and accept that you are worthy just as you are.
Every moment is an opportunity to turn your perceptions around so empower yourself with truth today!
The "Then" Trap
This is what all three of these achievement attachments have in common- you’re making decisions because on some level you think you’re missing something or you’re going to get something.
Stop waiting for that elusive ‘something’ to make your life complete!
You are already whole and perfect as you are.
Consider the things you’ve been conditioned to believe and then evaluate what keeps you attached – is it Love? Money? Freedom?
Do I believe that if I do “X” THEN I’ll get love and belonging and THEN I’ll be successful?
Do I believe that if I do “Y” THEN I’ll finally make the money I want and THEN I’ll be happy?
Don’t let your achievement of abundance be confined by “THEN” statements; unhinge yourself from attachments through curiosity.
My goal for you in 2023 is to bring you to freedom so that your creations are just added benefits. So that your creations are just because you want to create them, not so they can define you. So that you’re doing things for the love of it, the beauty of it, and the joy of it. There doesn’t have to be a cause or an end them anymore. You just get to create and achieve because you want to do it, and that’s what I want your legacy to be.
Being able to see your attachments can help you discern why you’re doing what you’re doing, and help you step back into the driver’s seat so that you’re not doing things unconsciously.
Take this information and evaluate your attachments.
Evaluate where you feel like once you do something then it will be dot, dot, dot or then you will have dot, dot, dot.
Write those down, reflect on them and get curious of how these might be a distraction. Where might you be confused or looking at this incorrectly?
Where can you actually start creating and achieving without attachments?